Friday, 27 June 2008

Sworn Virgin


Pic by DAN BILEFSKY, published here.
I am amazed by few things. Photos, blogs linking to it but first of all by the brilliant tradition of sworn virgins - society lacking men allows women to step into their roles! I swear to never have sex again, so I can have a gun and sit next to men at the wedding. My social sexuality is so well established that I make other women shy!
I must admit I am impressed. It's much better than to be a nun...
Sorry, I do not want to be sarcastic, NOT AT ALL! It really is more practical, and follows the same commitment, doesn't?

I was searching Twitter for feminist users tonight to find a few links - simply because nowadays I think about gender roles in the UK, Hungary, Poland. (for those who do not know me, I do not consider myself a feminist, but...living in the UK is easier than in Hungary for a woman - that is where my thinking comes from).
Hungary is a bizarre place - women cook, raise kids, work, men - work; nonetheless it's women who control the family life...women who historically have been obsessively independent - first kind appointed a woman (St. Mary) to be eternal queen of the country; Hungarian queen had her own residential town, library, her signature on state correspondence! Men were out fighting wars, she was raising next generations. Today men are dependent, women lack independent men (sorry, very shallow, and harshly general conclusion!) Hungarian feminists are sophisticated and scary.
Poland? I have no idea anymore. I know that with my experience of domestic abuse in my homeland I would be stygmatised, my son too. For some reason even my family assumes I have gone back to my maiden name - 'as if nothing had happened'! - which almost angers me.
UK? High rate of 30 year old males committing suicide...makes me wonder: would I like to be born a man in this country? I am more than happy to be a woman, but if I were to reverse my own experience...no, I would not. Polish feminist are activists.
I cannot see clearly what is the male model in the UK - I have not lived here long enough - but I can see already that being polite to women does not pay off: they get offended if I want to help them carrying their heavy bags or let the older ones on the bus! UK feminists seem to move towards girl power, but I do not like the stereotype of the British girl, so...

Me - as happy as I am - still miss male male model - and I think I will continue searching and appreciating those who sometimes want to take over the lead - just for a while, just to feel more useful, more masculine.

See, again...I am confident I am strong enough to let the man make his choices, to compromise. And I do have the choice. It's sad to think some women in other regions of the world do not:/

Good to browse a bit to learn more - I assume those things do not happen - if I do not read about it, I think it doesn't exist, blondie...

(shit, no matter how I tried, it all came down quite feminist, not that I care:P)

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2 comments:

Katsujinken said...

I really don't understand why anyone compares who should be playing a particular role in a family?


"My social sexuality is so well established that I make other women shy!" Out of interest have you ever asked yourself why that is?

Sometimes a past experiences can manifest attributes that we may feel shield us, make us superior. Yet they can leave many around us lost, alone and cold, maybe sometimes the suppressed unintentionally become the suppressor.

GabK said...

Why role in the family? I think it's the easiest to define, really.(it we look at a male-female model, of course)

As for the second sentence - no, to be honest, I was thinking about the women, who aproach her in a different manner, so I looked at it from their point of view.

I agree fully with the comment - but it works both ways, sometimes any negative experience can leave a trace and manifest itself in a self-victimizing behavior.