Life changing books

I started reading Fromm's Man for Himself and I feel bizarre! The book is changing me...you know the feeling when you live chaos and suddenly everything starts to fall in its place? The puzzles start to show a shape and you sit back and relax? That's what Fromm did and still does to me....but there were others too. Last weekend was quite relaxed and even though I still had no time to write down my trip to Spain (due to the fact I have 500 pix to go through and no time at all!), I decided to write down a list of books that changed my life.

1. Bible - born in a Catholic family I was raised with it, had it always around, studied it...It gave me basics for my own values, later on sadly made me realize I cannot represent Catholic Church. Nonetheless I still live most of what I've learned from it, but very much incorporated it in modern reality:)
2. Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice - I remember the scene and the day when I realized the paradox of human life and longing for eternity. I was upset for a few weeks, that life was given to be taken away and art, music, architecture will survive when I will be gone. (or those who do not know me I AM and egocentric person). I kept the copy I received form a friend from Egypt as one of my little treasures:)
3. The Name of The Rose by Umberto Eco - thought me to smile and appreciate what I have and the education I was given; thought me to love books and libraries.
4. Brain Sex: The Real Difference Between Men and Women by Anne Moir and David Jessel - great study of female and male biology, brain structure, growing up and socialization as well as everyday behavior. I was a feminist when I read it - and stopped being one, hehe, it kinda put all sex differences in order and I learned to appreciate that men think and behave differently and it all works quite well;)
5. The Sane Society by Erich Fromm - well writer critique or a study of Western society, extremely improved my relationship with my family, opened my eyes to all the mechanisms below the surface, helps me to manage my relationship with my parents and later on with my son.
6. Hagakure: The Book of the Samurai by Yamamoto Tsunetomo helped me to find a balance between my Catholic background, post-modern nature and Zen philosophy - if that makes sense...
7. The Letters of Vincent van Gogh by Vincent Van Gogh, Ronald de Leeuw, and Arnold J. Pomerans - increased my sensitivity in photography and pushed me to achieve more - I always go back to this book, whenever I feel I am stuck.
8. Pan Tadeusz by Adam Mickiewicz - once finished studies I went back to this - cherished in my house, since my dad comes from Lithuania - book on Lithuanian Poles during Napoleon times. I realized I miss old times, and even though I am a fan of post-modern myself I do think back on my ancestors' traditions and long for those delicious meals, huntings and picking mushrooms and blueberries in the forests that are endless and beautiful or in Hungary for example: sipping a coffeee and enjoying a gorgeous cake in one of Budapest 'cukraszdas' - any of those traditions that are gone forever .... ech...
9. Polka and Tarot Paryski by Manuela Gretkowska - first one guided my through pregnancy, second one developed my laid back attitude! I love her writing!
10. 11 Minutes by Coelho - one of those simple stories that quite you trough hard times - really helped me out of my horrible marriage:)
11. Girl with One Track Mind by Abby Lee - this will sound bizarre, I know, but the way she wrote her diary down brought back the magic to my life lately - maybe simply because she was so honest and so feminine...
11. Mental Fight by Ben Okri - sooo right about the times we live in!!!!

Well, and there is Fromm and his view on ethics now...let's see how it shapes me.

In the meantime I do follow others. Rice, Coelho and Abby Lee blog, Ben Okri was in Oxford lately and the rest...well, I guess I need to go to the local library. There were others too, but I guess I have no more lunch brake left to list them:)

How about you? Did you read a book that affected you so much that it changed our actions?

Update: good to see that Big Bloggers, like Loic Le Meur write about this traditional medium as well:)

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Girl With a One Track Mind

Before I try to relate to all the Hungarian and Polish reviews of the book, let me share with you my personal experience of reading the book...

Shortly: it put me back to my place, it opened the long forgotten emotional sensors. Actually reading it came together with both my exhibitions and the full set of amazing experiences (feedback from all the viewers, newly met artist fellows, lovely atmosphere of two last weekends - one with and one without my son, perfect weather and non-commercial relaxed life filling me up with new ideas for next year) closed the chapter of my sad marriage, brought back the old me who trusts the beauty of the world and the craziness of human kind.
Once again, I know who I want to be. I know what I want. I choose the people I want to be friends with. I ignore the assholes/lesses. I have re-discovered the inner source of energy and feel I can do so much more!

Abby Lee's book gave only the ground of openness and sensuality for all those re-discoveries, still - without the book I would most probably move over the beautiful moments without even noticing them. And believe me, only 0.01% of them was connected to sexuality as such!

Well done, impressively honest and well written!

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Books, home and the like...

Someone asked me once 'where is your home?'. It's a difficult question to answer and today I realized that there are still traces of disappointment in my approach to reality. I live a very peaceful, happy life - true, not perfect, but heading towards the right goals - and I still tend to be quite melancholic.
First of all I realized I just need my books to create a home (let me not talk about my son and his toys - it's quite an obvious fact he IS my home too). I came to the UK two years ago, end of March with ten books. Now I owe approx.120 of those, all for them very focussed on what I like to do (photography) or whom I like to read (Rice, Eco, Okri, Harris, Banks, Shakespeare,....) and I still haven't read 25% of those. Why? Because of my work, where lately I have spent my evenings continuing what I had to continue from the daily tasks (fair enough, has to be done).
it's time to gradually shift back the balance between the two and invest in pleasures of my own collection, so that it lives inside my head too. Because that's exactly where my home is.
A friend of mine told me she doesn't mind where she lives as long as she lives with good people. (I agree...) She also gives read books away - has no need to keep them anymore.
I think one day I might get there, but I might also become a collector - as my parents were and have a nice library at home.
This new, quiet home gave me time and space to contemplate everything that happened during last three years and how my life has changed me. I was a naive, extremely active little graduate of three faculties, when I met my son's dad. I had a daily job, evening job at a charity school, and went to concerts organized by my friends to help them out, have a beer, take photos of their performing artists and simply live la vida loca (as an opposite to my daily work at a multi firm). I was broken hearted and very romantic, so I guess I was the perfect 'match'..anyway...
I have changed. I have been changed.
I was alienated, closed in an empty box, and constantly attacked. Simply as that. My ego vanished. I became a puppet. My dreams of a perfect artist family faded away with the fog of this country...
Still, how interesting...somewhere deep inside of me a new girl evolved. A very strong, responsible, and well...wise too. And as it became clear to me that there are places in this world where people live dignified lives, I made my choice to live on my own.
I realized that all the sadness and evil I always wanted to know was there, in front of my face and I learned to love it! How bizarre...
I realized there is no way for an individual with my interests and sublime approach to life to live with another artist.
I realized I can hate.
I realized I will have to create my family on my own...and shockingly-
I realized I am capable of doing so!
I realized I am in need of my family and friends, and everyone is. We just need to learn to close the open circles, to learn something.
I realized both Rich and Siobhan are right - you live your life along the main flow, you adjust and change it according to your expectations, deepest desires, your spiritual needs. But you also have to be prepared to learn your lessons and accept the fact the life itself will shape you into someone very different, someone almost unrecognizable just to show you the other side of the mirror. So you can understand who you are and live with healthy pride.
And as Fromm was so strongly trying to preach - you learn to love the right people, but also to allow the right people to love you.

I am 30. What on earth am I going to write about in 10 years time?!

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